Here's to Goodbye...

... Tomorrow's gonna come too soon.
These words cannot begin to capture how much I feel the weight of the 8 weeks I've spent here in Honduras hanging heavy on my shoulders, and on my heart. I regret that I cannot stay here longer - that I cannot offer more to the communities here who have so little and yet have hope that they can make it through life every day despite their monumental difficulties. I think I can draw from that vast depth of strength and take some of that determination with me back to Duke - to share with everyone I know to inspire others to work tirelessly and without hesitation because we're all capable of it. We're all capable of fighting for what we believe in. Here it is family, it is food - it is meeting the basic needs to live despite not having a regular source of income and all of the uncertainty towards the economic future that the political tension here has cast on everyone - even neighboring countries that rely on Honduras as a passageway from Guatemala to Nicaragua. At the same time that I can't believe I'm leaving here, I am so grateful that I am - that I have the opportunity and privilege to do so, to see challenges and yet return to my comfortable life, only to enjoy luxuries that people here may never enjoy. It saddens me, truly, this difficult reality, and yet I choose to confront it with hope and not guilt. I choose to use my privilege to benefit those whom I will serve in the future. We are not born into fair conditions, but that does not mean that we have the luxury to sit and watch and agree that it's just unfair and there's nothing we can do about it. There is something - even a small thing, even just spending time with people here and bringing them several items that will hopefully help them even for a short while - it is something, not everything, not even enough, but something large enough to inspire hope. I know that I am just one person, but this past year has shown me that even just one person with a vision and a tenacious commitment and passion can transform a small idea into a huge reality. Just last year I only hoped with my whole self that a program like this would be possible - that I could bring a health education program to a Spanish-speaking country and work with kids to empower them with health materials and information to help prevent disease. And all of my hard work this past year has come to this - to a moment of departure that I'm content with, having served four communities in a meaningful way through interviews about health issues, community health talks, donated medical and school supplies, and most importantly 4 health education camps that will hopefully inspire children here to put care and thought into taking care of themselves. Project HEAL has come to life. The spark of inspiration I had to put together this project has been aired into a fire, glowing and wholesome, a testament to hard work and perseverance even when other people doubted our goals and methods. This moment of feeling content has not come without tears shed for unforseen difficulties, frustrations over changes in plans, and anxiety and stress. I do not deny that the road was difficult nor that it has been a perfect journey, but I believe there is beauty in the imperfections - in striving towards something that may seem unattainable or only a vision yet can become reality - even a flawed reality but all the better because it is real and meaningful. The kids here have touched my heart and mind with something greater than I ever could have imagined - they have inspired hope in me that even making a small effort can build friendships and life-changing experiences. Passion is what this world needs more of, and love too. Love deep enough to transcend judgment and to leave behind fear of rejection - love with feeling enough to create a friendship out of broken feelings, to inspire a smile in a crying and frustrated child. I have witnessed this love - on both the giving and receiving ends. I will not let it go - I will not let this experience pass through me but rather continue with me as an undercurrent to my every action and decision. I will have the kids in mind when we choose new members, when we make decisions about the projects, when we solicit donations, when we think big about our goals and hope to serve the communities that have touched our hearts with compassion, love, and friendship. I know it is time to say goodbye - but only just for now - only for a short time and then we will return again and build on the foundation of friendship and trust we have worked hard for this year and summer. I will keep working hard and I work hard because I find value and beauty in the work itself, regardless of whether the outcome benefits me or not. Because I know that ultimately if I model diligence, passion, and love through my selfless actions, I will find friends and followers and hopefully bridge differences through my life's work. :) :) Ahorita, adiós, pero regresaré en el futuro... mis amigos y amores... te echaré de menos.

Simplification - all I need

Right now I'm listening to OneRepublic's "Say (All I Need)." To some extent, the lyrics sum up a mantra I've come to realize during my time here in Honduras - simplification. The song's chorus is "All I need... is the air I breathe... and a place to rest my head." It also makes a point to describe the soul as "a lovely soul." In essence, these are the basics in life - air, shelter, a good heart. Having lived in places where all I've needed was a good work ethic, some shabby clothes, and a vision to do the best I could to work with the community towards improved health conditions, I know that in general the philosophy of simplification is brilliant, albeit elusive. We lived without AC, TV, internet, a dryer, sometimes even running water in Porvenir. It was simplification to some extent and almost unbearable. I've grown up accustomed to certain luxuries that are simply nonexistant in the developing world - and mostly irrelevant to the culture's own basic needs and lifestyle. And it is hard to live without these "necessities" - I truly am an internet addict and have developed a lifestyle dependent on having information and communication easily and quickly accessible to me. It was a struggle to live in conditions where I had to go out of my way to communicate with my family back in the States. Yet in another sense I also gained an appreciation for being able to walk down the street and befriend neighbors and have a leisurely conversation without the pressure to hurry on with my schedule. I know that with accessibility comes the ability to schedule my life minute-to-minute. My iCal is generally filled up with colored blocks in tedium. Here I took a step back, took a deep breath, and considered really what was most important for the project - and hence for my daily life here as well. I valued individual connections more than my personal goals and saw value in leisurely chatting with my new friends.
When I return to the US, though I may not be able to pull myself away from my computer entirely (I need it to work!), I think I will place greater value on experiencing life firsthand and spending some extra time each day to stop by my friends' rooms and chat with them about life, even if just for a few minutes, because all of those small experiences add up into something strong and meaningful. This will be my own approach towards simplification - towards recognizing that all I need at the basic level is air, water, shelter, and a good heart. Moreover I'll have the ability to reprioritize what is important to me and despite my work and commitments, spend enough time with friends to truly build lasting connections even more so than I've done before. I'm looking forward to this simplification and to experiencing life to the fullest that I can, by creating my own experiences and persevering even when time seems to be wasted on silly moments - those moments could be the most cherished I'll have in a while and good relief from daily stresses and worries. :) I'm happy and looking forward to time back at Duke. I'm reluctant to say goodbye to Honduras and all the friends we've made and experiences we've had, but I know that the time is right to move on and inspire others to join our cause and help improve health conditions in Honduras. I know I'll carry the experiences and memories I have of this beautiful, tranquil place for the rest of my life and that I've grown from this experience as a better person and leader - someone even more intently focused on finding meaning in life more than simply just meeting my own expectations and goals for myself. I'm on a quest to enrich my life with as much meaning as I can find. My journey has only just begun and I'm looking forward to venturing further in my path towards medicine and self-discovery. :)